They say that these are not the best of times, but they're the only times I've ever known. — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
I like the idea of getting money from corporations to do funny bits as long as they don't meddle. — Gavin McInnes Copy Share Image
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Faith is not to get you out of a hard place but to change your heart in the hard place. — David Wilkerson Copy Share Image
Visualize, 'prayerize', 'actionize', and your wishes will come true. — Charles L. Allen Copy Share Image
I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you… — Jean Rostand Copy Share Image
It's funny: when I was a kid, my mom would reorganize the record collection all the time. She'd have classical, she'd have… — Grace Potter Copy Share Image
Compared to the other work I've done on TV, 'Breaking Bad' was funny. In the beginning, I described it as a dark… — Betsy Brandt Copy Share Image
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels when he… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It's like, an overwhelming feeling that I can't even explain.” — Snooki Copy Share Image
Men are not amusing during the shooting season; but, after all, my dear, men were not especially designed to amuse women. — Gertrude Atherton Copy Share Image
One of the things I find most mysterious in Picasso's work is what I would call the 'unlocation of place. — Leo Steinberg Copy Share Image
Serenity of spirit and turbulence of action should make up the sum of a man's life. — Vita Sackville-West Copy Share Image
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true. — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
If I rescued a child from drowning, the press would no doubt headline the story: 'Benn grabs child — Tony Benn Copy Share Image
I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine. — Kurt Rambis Copy Share Image
“If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it. — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time. — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
If there is ever a time that impeachment would be appropriate, this is certainly the time. — Rocky Anderson Copy Share Image
God tells us to make a sanctuary of our thoughts in which He can dwell. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
A too-expected image (cliché) will never seem right, even if it is. — Robert Bresson Copy Share Image
Quebec from the boat looked like the ramparts where Hamlet's ghost might have walked. — Charlie Chaplin Copy Share Image
I'm usually about LIVE,LAUGH,LOVE and DANCE.But today it's more like, RAISE,AIM,FIRE and RELOAD. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To learn anything fast and effectively, you have to see it, hear it and feel it. — Tony Stockwell Copy Share Image
“Dear God, what's it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.” — Sherlock Copy Share Image
If the audience knows you can be funny when you want to be, they will be willing to wait for that payoff. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
What if, one day you randomly wake up as a baby and realize that your whole life was just a DREAM ! — Carissa Aydaa Copy Share Image
“You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet.” — Jules Barnard Copy Share Image
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
