“No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cute enough to kiss you.” — Frank Ocean Copy Share Image
What if one day you randomly wake up as a baby and realize that your whole life was a dream. o__0 — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lets face it, we all had our teachers ass in our face when they were helping another student — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People are like chocolates. Some soft centered, some hard, and some are just plain nutty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment, when you have anticipated a first kiss from someone you really like and their breath hits you before their… — Rashida Rowe Copy Share Image
Some of my favorites include 'Walking the Room' and 'Never Not Funny' and 'FitzDog Radio', Greg Fitzsimmons' podcast. — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
“May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I think 'Deadpool' worked because of what it was. I think 'Deadpool' worked because it was funny. I think 'Deadpool' worked because… — Tim Miller Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view.… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
My freedom consists in my moving about within the narrow frame that I have assigned myself for each one of my undertakings. — Richard Diebenkorn Copy Share Image
“In Norwegian that would be 'hun ma dra. Kanskje er hun gravid.'" Astley sttempts to smile. i can't help teasing him. "Which?… — Carrie Jones Copy Share Image
“Honestly, Clary, if you don't start utilizing a bit of your natural feminine superiority I just don't know what I'll do with… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Best of luck on your internship here and on getting me a coffee right now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you call someone ugly it doesn't make them ugly, it just proves how ugly on the inside YOU are. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The general population doesn't know what's happening, and it doesn't even know that it doesn't know. — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
Some of the best and worst lies Ive ever told are excuses for why Im late. — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
Is funny when people talk about you… Although the ONLY thing they know about you is your NAME . — Wiz Khalifa Copy Share Image
Nothing counts so much as family, the rest are just strangers. (as Nicholas Earpp in Wyatt Earp, 1994) — Gene Hackman Copy Share Image
“Wanted: Steel toed Bible thumpers to reach a monster truck mad world.” — M.J. McGuire Copy Share Image
When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things. — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny. — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
I dont care how old I am. I still panic like crazy when I lose my siblings in the mall. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Middle age is when you're old enough to know better but still young enough to do it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't say it's funny and miss the truth. Laugh at it while taking down the message. — Terry Mark Copy Share Image
I come from nothing: but from where come the undying thoughts I bear? — Alice Meynell Copy Share Image
As soon as I learned what the smell of bacon was, I learned how to make it. — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
“He was a humorist, and everyone knew the funny writers were the most serious sort under their skins.” — Paula McLain Copy Share Image
