I like being a funny lady. I think there's nothing sexier than a funny lady. — Maya Rudolph Copy Share Image
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried...but they wanted cash. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You might not think that's cricket, and it's not, it's motor racing. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
If grace acts in us, grace, and not we who do the work, but will be crowned. — John Calvin Copy Share Image
I'm not really into destiny, but it's funny - I bumped into a woman who told me about an audition, and now… — Georgina Campbell Copy Share Image
“My aunt made me an offer I had to refuse," said Jared. He looked forbidding. Kami knew that expression, and remembered the… — Sarah Rees Brennan Copy Share Image
Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“An amusing story? She jabs the call button as if poking an eye. She doesn’t want an amusing story, she wants change,… — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
10 year old's have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, and a Facebook... When I was 10, I felt cool with my new markers. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
“After the murderous attacks on September 11th, I had an overwhelming need to know what people hated most about America so we… — Scott Haas Copy Share Image
We start dying when we have nothing worth living for. And we don't really start living until we find something worth dying… — Mark Batterson Copy Share Image
The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. — Joe Theismann Copy Share Image
When you stop looking for something, you see it right in front of you. — Eleanor Coppola Copy Share Image
Winning BET Awards is the equivalent of getting cards with no money in them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Boys don’t gossip.” “Pah! You don’t know us as well as you think.” This was a disturbing prospect.” — Jennifer Echols Copy Share Image
Most stress is caused by three things; family, money and family with no money. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
All I ever wanted was to make scrilla / Have a recording session with J Dilla. — Rick Ross Copy Share Image
Life can have significance even if it appears to be a series of failures. — Joseph Cornell Copy Share Image
I must go, not only to those who need me, but to those who need me most. — William Booth Copy Share Image
Teacher: DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!?!?! Student: Are you asking me out? O_O — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A true nerd knows the difference between 2-D and 3-D, and chooses 2-D every frickin' time!” — Ryohgo Narita Copy Share Image
Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I have to go to the woods, and I have to meet the wolf, or else my life will never begin. — Clarissa Pinkola Estes Copy Share Image
Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?' — Jack McMahon Copy Share Image
