Dear Yahoo, I've Never Heard Anyone Say, 'I Don't Know, Let's Yahoo It!' Sincerely Yours, Google — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
A labyrinthine man never seeks the truth, but only his Ariadne. — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
There’s always an article coming out, saying, ‘The new thing is funny women!’ — Lena Dunham Copy Share Image
Only when I experience do I compose - only when I compose do I experience. — Gustav Mahler Copy Share Image
Money can't buy happiness, but it's a lot more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your teacher says ok pick a partner and you give your friend the sexiest pedophile look ever — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Well, I may be stuck here, but at least I've got a nice view. There's the jade place... and the bamboo forest… — Po - The Dragon Warrior Copy Share Image
If you like someone, tell them. Or stalk them on every single social network and cry yourself to sleep every night. It's… — Celeste Hartman Copy Share Image
Whenever someone says This day couldn't get any worse I immediately punch them in nose & ask Are you sure about that? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was fired from an NBC sitcom called 'Friends With Benefits.' I was wrong for the part from the beginning, didn't even… — Patrick J. Adams Copy Share Image
On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the… — Al McGuire Copy Share Image
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God,… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an alien living in any of your towns and… — Deuteronomy 14:21 Copy Share Image
No one is obliged to be a genius, but everyone is obliged to participate. — Philippe Starck Copy Share Image
All art (after Duchamp) is conceptual (in nature) because art only exists conceptually. — Joseph Kosuth Copy Share Image
My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where my coworkers don't talk to me while I drink it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I think that certain things are funny and certain things are okay to make fun of - including myself. — Mila Kunis Copy Share Image
Never do anything yourself that you can hire someone else to do, especially if they can do it better. — William Bernbach Copy Share Image
The way to talk about something sad is to sing a funny song about it. — Rory O'Malley Copy Share Image
Funny enough, every role that I have had, I try to tone down my accent or speak with better diction. — Djimon Hounsou Copy Share Image
“Funny thing about life is that it never turns out the way you want it to.” — S.L. Jennings Copy Share Image
To call a king "Prince" is pleasing, because it diminishes his rank. — Blaise Pascal Copy Share Image
The happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others — Gordon B. Hinckley Copy Share Image
I always dreamed about getting on TV and being part of a team - a funny ensemble. — D'Arcy Carden Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're late to class and everyonestares at you like you've just killed someone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I live by my own rules, so no-one can tell me what to do. If you do, then fuck you. — Live_Skate_Smoke Copy Share Image
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. — Clarence Darrow Copy Share Image
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
