I don't think people think I'm funny, but in my head, I'm like, 'I am!' — Lana Condor Copy Share Image
I don't like grouper fish. Well, they're okay. They hang around star fish. Because they're grouper fish. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive.” — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
The movies,i ended up eating all the popcron and drinking all the soda and the movie did'nt even start yet,so much trailers… — Sally Copy Share Image
The goal is to win. It's not about making money. I have many much less risky ways of making money than this… — Roman Abramovich Copy Share Image
“It just doesn't seem right to spend your entire life drinking, when you could be exploring the world." "Or," Zhy said as… — Martin D. Gibbs Copy Share Image
I have a funny sense of humor. If I was a comedian and I was up on stage, people would think that's… — Lil B Copy Share Image
South Sea natives who have been exposed to American movies classify them into two types, 'kiss-kiss' and 'bang-bang. — Hortense Powdermaker Copy Share Image
I'm one of those hovering mothers and I know it's really important to have an independent child, so I'm trying to back… — Selma Blair Copy Share Image
I wanted to explain that just because I'm rapping in this funny way doesn't mean that I'm not worthy of actually being… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
It's a very funny topic, missing weight and getting title shots. I think the punishments should be more severe, but I don't… — Robert Whittaker Copy Share Image
With no object no image and no focus, what are you looking at? You are looking at you looking. — James Turrell Copy Share Image
In times of weakness, choose to put yourself under God's control. — Stormie Omartian Copy Share Image
“I can’t believe I’ve missed this sport. It’s all about fingering holes and caressing balls.” — K.A. Mitchell Copy Share Image
When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You aren't just the age you are. You are all the ages you ever have been! — Kenneth Koch Copy Share Image
I'm convinced I will be cleared of all these charges that were unfairly leveled against me. — Joseph Estrada Copy Share Image
Did you know it's impossible to say Good Eye Might without sounding Australian? — Jazzjefferies Copy Share Image
There's nothing like watching cat videos to help me pass the time until I can see my cat again. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies. — Barry Cryer Copy Share Image
If some beggar steals a bridle he'll be hung by a man who's stolen a horse. — Peire Cardenal Copy Share Image
There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
For Grandparents Day, I'd like to take you to a nice restaurant that you can plunder for Sweet 'N Low packets. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
The Cheyenne Indians: their history and lifeways : edited and illustrated — George Bird Grinnell Copy Share Image
I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
To me, the movie is more funny if, at the same time, you can think a little bit or dream a little… — Quentin Dupieux Copy Share Image
