Michael McIntyre

I really, really love stand-up.

— Michael McIntyre

I don't like upsetting people.

— Michael McIntyre

I suppose I'm always a little bit on edge.

— Michael McIntyre

I want to look svelte.

— Michael McIntyre

I'm not going to crack America.

— Michael McIntyre

Maybe people just can't cope with how jovial I am.

— Michael McIntyre

I just find little things in life funny, it's why I giggle during my shows.

— Michael McIntyre

It's hard to see your dad once in a blue moon.

— Michael McIntyre

Comedy provides an escape from the horrors of real life.

— Michael McIntyre

I found the idea of trying to create a show that everyone can enjoy really appealing.

— Michael McIntyre

I get looks like I can't raise my child, but I can.

— Michael McIntyre

It would be nice if I had a faster metabolism, because I love food.

— Michael McIntyre

The last thing you want is for people not to care about what you have to say.

— Michael McIntyre

I don't go around straightening pictures or anything like that, but I do obsess about the safety of those I love, particularly…

— Michael McIntyre

Australia is fun, but completely exhausting and confusing because I never get on with the different time zone.

— Michael McIntyre

I never felt like I belong to anything - to any groups of friends. I never really had that.

— Michael McIntyre

I like the stage lights to be bright so I can't see people because I will inevitably only see the ones who…

— Michael McIntyre

I'm sure there are comedians who make jokes about me, but say something funny, not mean.

— Michael McIntyre

Sometimes I worry about things changing and people not liking me any more. As a comedian you do feel like you're walking…

— Michael McIntyre

I always used to want everyone to like me, because it used to hurt so much when people made snidey comments or…

— Michael McIntyre

I thought I was going to do some cult, cool, late-night interviewing thing on BBC2. But everyone kept saying: 'No, Michael, you're…

— Michael McIntyre

Stand-up comedy is what I do, and it's so rewarding. If you write a joke and tell it to an audience of…

— Michael McIntyre

Given this voice, I know it does sound like I've come from money. But my dad was Canadian and my mum Hungarian,…

— Michael McIntyre

I don't know how it is with other people's relationships, but my wife is always much more tired than me because she…

— Michael McIntyre

I don't eat huge amounts, I'm just very lazy. But then this story appeared about me being on a diet and several…

— Michael McIntyre

There's nothing better than having a bright, blinding light in your face and being guided by big, rolling laughter. There's nothing more…

— Michael McIntyre

If I'm honest, I think everything is funny. You've just got to find the right way in. When I'm at my happiest…

— Michael McIntyre

I had a great moment with Michael Buble where I asked him if he could teach me to sing like him and…

— Michael McIntyre

Men need to be with women otherwise I don't think they really know how to behave. They'll just stare at me and…

— Michael McIntyre

I like jokes where people don't stop laughing.

— Michael McIntyre

I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring and I even had it engraved - with the price.

— Michael McIntyre

I've got some Jewish ancestry and I don't like waste.

— Michael McIntyre

I definitely wanted a Ferrari 328 - I was obsessive about cars as a kid.

— Michael McIntyre

“I had a much better fantasy life, than a real life.”

— Michael McIntyre

So you're mother? Nice to put a name to a face.

— Michael McIntyre

Sometimes it's difficult to laugh at certain things but comedy can help.

— Michael McIntyre

I have no ambitions to act, because I don't know how to.

— Michael McIntyre

It's such a lie that women go for funny men.

— Michael McIntyre

I'm thrilled at the continued success of the 'Big Show.'

— Michael McIntyre

Making the 'Big Show' has been the most fun I've had on telly.

— Michael McIntyre