It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What comes after the letter T? Normal people: U. Me: Wait.. A,B,C,D,E,F,G.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts. — Joel Kinnaman Copy Share Image
Im shy at first, but once Im comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shit. — Nate Copy Share Image
Beauty in all things-no, we cannot hope for that; but some place set apart for it. — Edna St. Vincent Millay Copy Share Image
I am not the Bird of Love I once thought I was. But my silence suggests I may be the Pterodactyl of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I started driving our old four-door green DeSoto, I always took Skip on my trips around town. I would get Skip… — Willie Morris Copy Share Image
I comment on my friends' things; whatever they post, I post funny posts. I don't post anything that's too sad or mad,… — GloZell Copy Share Image
“My only relationship policy is, don’t bring your dirty laundry to work, no sex on company furniture and don’t let it affect… — Paula Graves Copy Share Image
“He laughed. "That's funny, 'I don't have any fire.' Everybody's got fire, kiddo. It's just a matter of finding the match that… — Charles R. Smith Jr Copy Share Image
Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
LAziness is thE m0ther 0f aLl bad habits,. aNd sincE sHe is the m0ther,. we Have n0 choicE buT t0 respEct and… — Megz Copy Share Image
David Letterman used to say, 'I wasn't the class clown, but I wrote for him,' and that's exactly it. You want to… — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
The only way I could get my old CD into stores is if I took one in and leave it. "Sir, you… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Here's to hopefully still having jobs when we return from Labor Day weekend. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Amidst the rush of worldly comings and goings, I observe how all endings become beginnings — Wayne Dyer Copy Share Image
Don't sidestep suffering. You have to go through it to get where you're going. — Katherine Anne Porter Copy Share Image
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!” — Lewis Carroll Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced thatpeople actually think your stupid — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the speed limit for sex? . . . 68, coz at 69 u have to turn around. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If I let you go are you going to hit me again?” “What do you think?” “Then I’m not going to let… — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. — Clint Eastwood Copy Share Image
All people have a photographic memory, some just don't have the film. I do, but it never develops quite right. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Making any statement of your feelings is risky. It's just like making pictures. — Joel Meyerowitz Copy Share Image
I dont hate you...I just hope that you start your period in a tank full of sharks — Stacie Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wife: Sweetheart, I'm pregnant! Oh my God, what would you want it to be? Husband: A joke. 1 Jul — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our very life depends on everythings' recurring til we answer from within. — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
