Inside me theres a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes — Bob Thaves Copy Share Image
We are ashamed of our thoughts and often see them brought forth by others. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants? — Michael De Leon Copy Share Image
That's the funny thing - if there was a year and half or two years of us being a band like every… — Ryan Ross Copy Share Image
Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things that are trying to be hurtful… — Rickie Fowler Copy Share Image
“There was talk of the Centaur being moved into the elephant cages to make room for a banjo-picking Minotaur. Surrendering his meager… — Don Roff Copy Share Image
Whenever I wanna fall in love with my books.My bed fall in love with me & I always respect the one who… — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. — Jean Baudrillard Copy Share Image
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I mean, autographs are so funny. I don't think it's good to encourage that sort of thing. Why do people want to… — Hope Sandoval Copy Share Image
I think the whole concept that women aren't funny is dead. It's over; it's done. — Kate Flannery Copy Share Image
Yeah it's so funny calling someone out on twitter, but you don't realize how easy words can kill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only reason women need men around the house is because we haven't made a vibrator that can kill spiders. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This government is acknowledged by all, to be one of enumerated powers. — John Marshall Copy Share Image
We will slaughter them; Bush Junior, and his international gang of bastards! — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We are more heavily invested in the theories of failure than we are in the theories of success. — Albert Bandura Copy Share Image
I write the songs first and in most cases teach myself the technique second. — Joe Satriani Copy Share Image
Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit. — Alice Roosevelt Longworth Copy Share Image
“I'm English. We're about as tactful as a hot poker up the bum, most of the time.” — L.H. Thomson Copy Share Image
I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration. — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
If someone ever asks you to do something for them, do it really bad so you never have to do it again. — Paris Hilton Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a Caution: slippery when wet sign I hide it somewhere, then I sit down & enjoy the show. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't think people think I'm funny, but in my head, I'm like, 'I am!' — Lana Condor Copy Share Image
I don't like grouper fish. Well, they're okay. They hang around star fish. Because they're grouper fish. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
