It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
In the main, there are two sorts of books: those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
“Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.” — Jennifer Lynn Barnes Copy Share Image
People don't realize it's not just about being funny, and they don't know how perceptive a comedian needs to be about human… — Erik Griffin Copy Share Image
I'm shocked by how many young people get their news from The Daily Show and proud to say I get mine from… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged… — Samuel Butler Copy Share Image
Its the details and the human element that makes Recount entertaining. Even though we know how the election ends, it plays like… — Kevin Spacey Copy Share Image
Labor Day is a fitting tribute to the contributions of American workers in industries other than those that recently destroyed America. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Scream was great for what it was. For a horror film, it was intelligent, it was funny, it took a laugh at… — Neve Campbell Copy Share Image
Vatsal is mature and funny and working with him is a wonderful experience and when co-actors are good they help you with… — Ishita Dutta Copy Share Image
“The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
It's funny, I never considered that people are going to see me on the show and maybe stop me on the subway. — Lena Dunham Copy Share Image
Happy Halloween to someone I trust not to leave me for dead during a zombie apocalypse. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. — WCFields Copy Share Image
My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
When people say When I was little… and I'm just awkwardly sitting there like, I still do that — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exceed due measure, and the most delightful things become the least delightful. — Epictetus Copy Share Image
“Six minutes isn’t sex,” I hear him saying as my eyes crash shut. “Six minutes is a boiled egg.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don’t see the mind for more than it is, but don’t misread it for all that it can be. — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
Who says that tears dont fall from my eyes,now there is a firewall present between me and you...:( — DD Copy Share Image
If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player. — Sheryl Crow Copy Share Image
It's true I don't know that much about Ligue 1, but Ligue 1 knows who I am. — Zlatan Ibrahimovic Copy Share Image
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you are in love-that's a good thing-that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
I never thought of doing anything but comics, except maybe being a pilot. — Ernie Colon Copy Share Image
It's funny when their are some people talks behind you but they don't know the truth. — Mitch Alapan Copy Share Image
