Nicki Minaj being a judge on American Idol is like Taylor Swift giving relationship advice. — Miley McCormick Copy Share Image
Even excessive reprimand/reproach/censure can make someone resolute for success. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
But if i sit here and weep I'll be blown over by the slightest of breeze — Laura Marling Copy Share Image
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down. — Collis Potter Huntington Copy Share Image
Too many people, when they get old, think that they have to live by the calendar. — John Glenn Copy Share Image
Isn't it funny that Friday the 13th is before Valentines? Horror at its best! — Evan Ceaser Copy Share Image
If 'Beauty and the Beast' teaches us one thing, it's that looks don't matter, as long as you're billionaire prince who owns… — Meow Copy Share Image
“What about you? What do you do?” I needed to ask questions, draw him out. I needed to find out all the… — Kate Avery Ellison Copy Share Image
“Well, friend, I don’t know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody,” Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
I don't really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric... I'm… — Harry Connick, Jr Copy Share Image
Grade School Class studying Religion Teacher: Peter, can you tell me who is Jesus Christ? Peter: I don't know teacher maybe he… — Jing Copy Share Image
Laurel and Hardy are among my strongest influences, and I think they're perfect examples of two naive, kid-like characters that are still… — Stephen Hillenburg Copy Share Image
They created a robot because it can work consistently. If you're looking for a consistent partner, you know what you need — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mom says to me, Honey, I don't want you to think I have diabetes because I'm fat. I have diabetes because… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you have a bunch of cash in your wallet, you'll buy anything. But the last 10$ can last an entire week.. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People say that nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday .. — Winnie The Pooh Copy Share Image
All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I've been buried in IRAC so long, they should be paying my parents a military pension. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The manipulation of statistical formulas is no substitute for knowing what one is doing. — Hubert M. Blalock Copy Share Image
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for these. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
When they say that I am too old to make a thing, I try to make it immediately. — Pablo Picasso Copy Share Image
Giving your best friend the look when someone is being annoying as hell...!:) — Stay_true_4_life Copy Share Image
... be indulgent toward those who ... are afraid of the aloneness that you trust. — Rainer Maria Rilke Copy Share Image
Apparently, everyone smokes weed...but everyone is passing drug tests too...hmmmm — Jerett Parker Copy Share Image
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait". — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, youre a tool. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It’s not what you do some of the time that counts, it’s what you do all of the time that counts. — Jack LaLanne Copy Share Image
“You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
I'm a very funny person that doesn't get the chance to do a lot of comedy, and the same thing with my… — Malik Yoba Copy Share Image
I wasn't going to rob her, or touch her. I was just going to kill her. — David Berkowitz Copy Share Image
It's really unimaginable that I could start where I was and get here today. — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
He who gives you the diameter of your knowledge,presc ribes the circumference of your activities. — Louis Farrakhan Copy Share Image
