The manipulation of statistical formulas is no substitute for knowing what one is doing. — Hubert M. Blalock Copy Share Image
I've been buried in IRAC so long, they should be paying my parents a military pension. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People say that nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday .. — Winnie The Pooh Copy Share Image
Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for these. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and .… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was once knocked out by a Mexican bantamweight - six of my pals were swinging him around by his heels at… — Randall Cobb Copy Share Image
One measure of a civilization, either of an age or of a single individual, is what that age or person really wishes… — Ezra Pound Copy Share Image
“Ever since the robot was first invented, there have been people who swear up and down that this marks the first step… — Weston Locher Copy Share Image
Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
Most beginners want to learn lead because they think it's cool .. consequently, they never really develop good rhythm skills .. since… — Eddie Van Halen Copy Share Image
My friend said he didn't have time for Twitter like me, he has a job I replied shut the fuck up &… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Apparently, everyone smokes weed...but everyone is passing drug tests too...hmmmm — Jerett Parker Copy Share Image
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait". — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
... be indulgent toward those who ... are afraid of the aloneness that you trust. — Rainer Maria Rilke Copy Share Image
Giving your best friend the look when someone is being annoying as hell...!:) — Stay_true_4_life Copy Share Image
When they say that I am too old to make a thing, I try to make it immediately. — Pablo Picasso Copy Share Image
“You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
It’s not what you do some of the time that counts, it’s what you do all of the time that counts. — Jack LaLanne Copy Share Image
If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, youre a tool. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wasn't going to rob her, or touch her. I was just going to kill her. — David Berkowitz Copy Share Image
I'm a very funny person that doesn't get the chance to do a lot of comedy, and the same thing with my… — Malik Yoba Copy Share Image
A group of idiots led by a wise man can defeat a group of wise people led by an idiot. — Senora Roy Copy Share Image
He who gives you the diameter of your knowledge,presc ribes the circumference of your activities. — Louis Farrakhan Copy Share Image
It's really unimaginable that I could start where I was and get here today. — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
I was about to hug someone sexy but then I head- butted the mirror... lol(: — Sharon Copy Share Image
But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred. — Wayne White Copy Share Image
“So does that mean if you won’t fuck me because I’m high, I could fuck you because you’re not?” — K.A. Mitchell Copy Share Image
When life gives you lemon, take the lemon close and have sex with his girlfriend — Charith Thilina Copy Share Image
Be fanatics. When it comes to being and doing and dreaming the best, be maniacs. — A. M. Rosenthal Copy Share Image
Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
“Earthquakes were extremely uncommon in this area. A dragon and a unicorn playing tag wasn't.” — Robert Lynn Asprin Copy Share Image
