The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Appreciate Somebody When You With Them , Not When Their With Somebody NEW — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When people are deeply affected by the Word, they tell it to other people. — Dietrich Bonhoeffer Copy Share Image
If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you. — Leo Howard Copy Share Image
They say they're plenty of fish in the sea, but then again I'm a pretty bad fisherman. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I saw one of the old 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons the other day. I hadn't seen it for 30 years and I… — William Hanna Copy Share Image
Four months after we released 'I Don't Want to Be Funny Anymore,' the album came out on EggHunt. Three months after that,… — Lucy Dacus Copy Share Image
I believe it is tough to be funny and tougher to make people laugh. And it needs to be been done effortlessly.… — Vivek Oberoi Copy Share Image
Girls, If a guy only want you for your breast, thighs and legs! Take him to KFC where he can have all… — Vanity_LEO Copy Share Image
Dramas are incredibly compelling. I feel like 'Silver Linings Playbook' is a drama, but because it's funny, people market it as a… — David Lowery Copy Share Image
“I need his number,” I announced. “What?” Roxie asked. “Give me his cell number!” I shouted. “Who’s got his number?” Everyone started… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
Pepperidge Farm bread. That's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“-What's so funny?" "-Sorry," David said, reddening again. "You just taste so sweet." "-What do you mean, sweet?" He licked his bottom… — Aprilynne Pike Copy Share Image
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? — Karan Copy Share Image
You know the other person is bored of texting when they say 'lol' when you weren't being funny. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It’s simply doing what you’re supposed to do as well as you can when you’re supposed to do it. — Mike Krzyzewski Copy Share Image
The son of a b!tch moment when you're walking around the house in socks and you step on awet spot. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Its not the next day until I go to sleep and wake up , unless its my b day or Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are a lot of books showing on how to live longer, but none on why. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Who am I? What will I be? Why am I here? Where am I going? — Constantin Stanislavski Copy Share Image
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all of my missing socks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In truth, it is I who have defiled myself, for one is one s own fiercest enemy. — Ding Ling Copy Share Image
Life is like a Shit Sandwich,the more Bread the less Shit you have to Eat! — Virgil Estep Copy Share Image
I remember when staying up until midnight was hard to do, now it's a bad habit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The moment when you walk through a spiders web you automatically become a karate chopping ninja — Millie Darlington Copy Share Image
And now the question: what do we do with the longing for what can destroy us? — Mary Jo Bang Copy Share Image
The world we live in will be either better or worse depending on whether we become better or worse. — Paulo Coelho Copy Share Image
“It seems Washinoo didn't mind being kidnapped by lunatics. He remained with Yoshitsune until the very end.” — Pamela S Turner Copy Share Image
Just me or is waking up at 3am and trying to read a text message is like looking directly into the sun? — Mk Copy Share Image
One says a lot in vain, refusing; The other mainly hears the "No. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
