Yo can’t reason someone out of something he didn’t reason himself into. — Jonathan Raymond Copy Share Image
Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Maydens, be they never so foolyshe, yet beeing fayre they are commonly fortunate. — John Lyly Copy Share Image
Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone? — Anthony de Mello Copy Share Image
Laughter is the best medicine... but if you laugh for no reason, you need a medicine... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Something rubs off from everything you read, observe, and tinker with. — R. F. Delderfield Copy Share Image
Sometimes I feel like I'm making a connection with a stranger, but then it turns out I'm not. Like, I was in… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
People told me I shouldn't take everything too seriously, and I didn't listen. Now I wish I had, because I tormented myself… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
After-sales service is more important than assistance before sales. It is through such service that one gets permanent customers. — Konosuke Matsushita Copy Share Image
I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and… — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
I would hate to be a pencil. getting sharpened, having to write all the time, different people holding you, erasing with your… — Emma Runyan Copy Share Image
Nothing is more apt to deceive us than our own judgment of our work. We derive more benefit from having our faults… — Leonardo da Vinci Copy Share Image
Some comics get drunk before a show. I don't. When I get drunk, I don't want to stand in front of a… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
You always have some trans girl saying, 'Oh, they were just being funny! They aren't really transphobic,' Just like you will always… — Angelica Ross Copy Share Image
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. — W. H. Auden Copy Share Image
If you don't do stupid things when your young, then you won't have funny stuff to talk about when you get old. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Noctis… this is a little embarrassing, but…your male anatomy is bothering me.” — Dahlia Lu Copy Share Image
Marie Curie is, of all celebrated beings, the only one whom fame has not corrupted. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
Always be a beginner at something, and always be in love with what you are beginning. — Bill Buxton Copy Share Image
The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. — Marlon Brando Copy Share Image
You've only got 12 notes and however you mix them up is your thing. — Eddie Van Halen Copy Share Image
Bigots are actually funny to me in the way that people who still wear parachute pants give me a chuckle. — John Ridley Copy Share Image
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece... — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed. — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
A Christian isn't necessarily any nicer than anybody else, just better informed. — Frederick Buechner Copy Share Image
Cram nailed his colours to the mast and threw down the Great Pretender — Ron Pickering Copy Share Image
“He made my truth light and funny without diminishing the importance of it.” — Tarryn Fisher Copy Share Image
Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people. — David Cross Copy Share Image
