Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Once (Stan) Musial timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy. — Warren Spahn Copy Share Image
Would you have a friend who talks to you the way you talk to yourself? — Callie Khouri Copy Share Image
I never cheat in life. I only make my own rules because cheaters never win in life — MrAwesome Copy Share Image
In preschool, I would plan out my show-and-tell every week to be funny and exciting. — Maxim Knight Copy Share Image
Humor is very important as people have forgotten to laugh at themselves these days. They should not lose the funny bones. — Saswata Chatterjee Copy Share Image
“Two death sentences? Really? I mean, you look very well, considering.” Crane grinned at him. “One was in absentia. One wasn’t, and… — K.J. Charles Copy Share Image
“Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you’ll never get your balls back.” - Simon Hunt” — Dannika Dark Copy Share Image
“You're so incredibly beautiful when you're angry.' I refused to be flattered by that somewhat weird compliment. 'And you're so incredibly disturbed.'… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“What is it?” There is almost nothing I could refuse him at this very moment. Sex on the picnic bench? Check. Strip… — Sarah Castille Copy Share Image
Being funny is a symptom of what's underneath. You're pumping out all that energy because something else is going on inside you,… — Faith Prince Copy Share Image
“Fred and George exchanged looks. "You don't mind if we don't kiss you, do you, Ron?" said Fred in a falsely anxious… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and… — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
KISSING, An action that only marriage can transform from a pleasure to a duty — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... Well I say dream I mean nightmare... you were a Yankee fan.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
Its useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be the first. It didn't matter where you start counting from. — Pranav Copy Share Image
But it's funny how the memory works and how sometimes we just belive whatever we want. — Chris Bohjalian Copy Share Image
Out of a hundred years a few minutes were made that stayed with me, not a hundred years. — Antonio Porchia Copy Share Image
Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Being so pale, your mom has to make you wear blush someday's ._. Cause otherwise you'd look like a ghost…lol — Rachel Copy Share Image
If you can't pay for a thing, don't buy it. If you can't get paid for it, don't sell it. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Cabaret is a great format. All you have to do is sing and be funny sporadically. — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos? — Ron Alderson Copy Share Image
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
One never goes further than when they do not know where they are going. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid… — Mae West Copy Share Image
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
There's something bizarrely funny about a guy who doesn't realise he's, in essence, a dog chasing his own tail. — Brad Anderson Copy Share Image
I see God in the instruments and mechanisms that work reliably. — R. Buckminster Fuller Copy Share Image
