Funny Quotes · Page 221

True happiness comes only by making others happy.

— David O. McKay

There is one fold and one shepherd.

— Pope Boniface VIII

The good is the enemy of the best.

— Bill W

It is always better to ask then to make an assumption.

— Miguel Angel Ruiz

Who invented King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference!

— Jeffrey Sarpong

Knowledge is only useful if you do something with it.

— Jeffrey Pfeffer

Faith is learned through life.

— Lysa TerKeurst

Now I'm living in the past with all these regrets.

— Nikhil Saluja

“When things go well for days on end, it is an hilarious accident.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

— Chris Rock

Maybe Karma wouldn't be so nasty if we stopped calling her a bitch.

— Anonymous

The truly good is he who is one with all those who are deemed bad.

— Khalil Gibran

If you can find the God inside yourself, you can find the God inside everybody.

— Stephen Levine

I could act normal, but it would be acting and it wouldn't be normal!

— Anonymous

Don't fail to do something just because you can't do everything

— Richard Stearns

1st month of school: look nice and dress up. Rest of the school year: Rocking the homelss grandma look.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when you look on Facebook and see your friend's comment on your status gets more likes than your status…

— David Rice

“Though everyone in the bar knew who he was, no one asked him about the death, though one old man did rustle…

— Donna Leon

“You must be a blast on long car rides.” “Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in…

— Nenia Campbell

Funny but true: boy did mistake girl shouted boy said sorry, girl did mistake boy shouted girl started crying boy said sorry.

— Asli

“You know what? We need a recession in this country, because that would finaly weed out al the subnormal, underdeveloped, stupefied, puerile…

— Jen Lancaster

“Me mum always told me the rich was blessed, but I thought she was talkin' about gold." She leaned over to cackle…

— Teresa Medeiros

Although I have guitars all around and I pick themm up occasionally and write a tune and make a record, I don't…

— George Harrison

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms.

— Nikhil Saluja

Put yourself in your customer's place.

— Orison Swett Marden

School was pretty hard for me at the beginning.

— Steve Jobs

Ninja hug! you never saw it coming.

— Anonymous

Those who say they understand Chess, understand nothing

— Robert Hubner

After so many deaths I live and write;

— George Herbert

I have had no professional training.

— William Hung

We were searching for ourselves in each other.

— Sergei Parajanov

God knows what is in me in place of me.

— Fyodor Dostoevsky

What man is, only history tells.

— George Mosse

Stressed, Depressed, and boy band obsessed

— Anonymous

Impressive, most impressive. (Darth Vadar)

— George Lucas

I don't need a president with a bucket list!

— Chris Rock

If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.

— Prince Philip

What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.

— Mark Twain

“Sporks are only used in the most dire situations.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness.

— Chinmayananda Saraswati