“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around inebriated.” — John Alejandro King aka The Covert Comic Copy Share Image
Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Admit it. At some point in your life you've tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light turns off. — Thegr81 Copy Share Image
“Marg muttered something under her breath. It was either “Who does he think he is?” or “I hope he has no kids.”… — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
“An angora. That's what it was," he exclaims with a grin. "They have translucent wings and are about five inches tall and… — Arianna Fox Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you put your hand up to give someone a high five but they walk right past you leaving… — Me Copy Share Image
“Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all."… — Hazel Blackthorn Copy Share Image
“MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS? ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS. MY FRIEND:… — KanyaACoffman Copy Share Image
“It’s not really my fault. The problem is that my mouth just comes out with these things. And you can’t blame me… — Gideon Defoe Copy Share Image
“You should really smile more Miss.” “Smiling Is overrated.” my voice as sharp as a knife, my voice deadpanned, as I sulked… — Shayla Orick Copy Share Image
“You really are a pain in the ass,” he laughs. I swat him playfully, laughing too as a single tear rolls down… — Kandi Steiner Copy Share Image
“Webster said, ''Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak… — Peter Matthiessen Copy Share Image
“Archbishop: "God is with us!" William the Great : "Bishop, if God is with us, then he is not with them, congratulations!… — Arash Pakravesh Copy Share Image
“You’re already stuck with yourself for a lifetime. Why not improve this relationship?” — Vironika Tugaleva Copy Share Image
“By doing ordinary actions efficiently you will become the best among ordinary, but you will not be an extraordinary.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
The only day I find happiness is the day you die! I don't know when I will be happy but I can… — Jarrod Copy Share Image
“How ’bout you take this Cajun injector here,” I say, gripping the steel rod in his shorts, “and give me a shot… — Heather M. Orgeron Copy Share Image
