Funny golfing Quotes

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

— Sam Snead

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

— Robin Williams

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

— Keith Michael

Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt.

— Fletcher Knebel

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the…

— Don Adams

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

— Ben Crenshaw

Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.

— Ernie Banks

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

— Peter Dobereiner

I never learned anything from a match that I won.

— Bobby Jones

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

— George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a…

— Gerald R. Ford

Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.

— Samuel Johnson

Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses...

— Adlai Stevenson I

Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Brian Tracy

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where…

— Bob Hope

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a…

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

— P. J. O'Rourke

The better your attitude and the harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Robert G. Allen

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

— Jimmy Demaret

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

— Joan Rivers

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

— Lee Trevino

The more you play it the less you know about it.

— Patty Berg

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.

— Paul Harvey

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called…

— Alex Hay