Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Instead of calling in sick today, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On our 21st birthday, we don't care what the world thinks of us; only later we discover that it wasn't thinking of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hen my dad says to be home at 11.30, he doesn't mean be in the driveway, but inside the house by myself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I didn't say I hate you, I just saidif you were on fire.. I might just roast marshmellows. Big difference. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I get annoyed when I solve a hard math problem to find out later that answer is 0. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Valentines Day Drinks: $80. Dinner: $75. The room: $250. The look on his face when she says Im on my period: Priceless. :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Twinkle twinkle little star, you should know what you are, and once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One of the weaknesses of our age is our apparent inability to distinguish our needs from our greeds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Welcome to facebook, where you can stalk your exes, freak out your frends, and go from normal to bi polor in 30 secounds! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In 25 years: Me: When I was a kid I had the iPhone 4S. My kid:That's lame. I have the iPhone 500S.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: Do you understand? Me: Yeah, I do. Teacher: *walks away* Me: What did she just say? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
