Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly saysyou were so cute! What happened? Bitch, I got sexy, that's what happened. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't need a girlfriend my studies irritates me everyday, that's enough. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Best of luck on your internship here and on getting me a coffee right now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You make me laugh at things that aren't funny. You make me smile without actually being here. You make my stomach flip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's thank WWII vets for defeating Hitler and making America safe for lunatics who compare our leaders to Hitler. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you name your child 'Christian' only for him to grow up to be an atheist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never forget my wifes birthday. Its usually the day after she reminds me about it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The closest thing you will ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Old people at weddings always poke me and say You're Next. So I started doing the same to them at funerals — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Only In Law School: Will someone hit on you by saying 'We could be a power couple.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know it's been a long time since we met, still your memories are impossible to forget, and when I finally saw… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My penis should make me breakfast on morning. It is always up before I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I dont understand why strippers get mad when I tip with monopoly money, I mean...are those real tits? I dont think so. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people see you lying down with your eyes closed and they still ask 'Are you sleeping?' I reply, 'No, I'm training… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every mother thinks that their child is the most beautiful, but only my mom is right ;) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Proof computers are female: Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's heroic service like yours that reminds me how meaningless my life is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
