Before Shaq retired, they should have made him play a game dressed as Kazaam. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I should really start going to bed earlier so I have more time in the morning to be late for work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry the gynecologist will see more of my vagina this year than you will. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's a crazy society when guys wanna see a movie about a teddy bear, and girls wanna see a movie about strippers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Monday was a girl; it would be that fat girl who likes horses & tells the teacher when you cheat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You say I'm a bi**h? Well a bi**h is a dog, and dogs bark, and bark is on trees, and trees are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The shortest horror story: The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I got expelled from school on pajama day....But its not my fault I sleep naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
9 year olds today have Facebooks, twitters, phones, ipods. When I was their age, I had a coloring book, crayon, chalk &… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, when your class is so immature it could easily be mistaken for 3rd graders. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on having the same great idea as someone who successfully executed it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bitch, please your so ugly that gold fish crackers don't even smile back! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Haters act like haters because their full of hate and that give people a sense of hatred when entering a room full… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry that telling me about your great new iPhone drained its entire battery. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You said it was a long story, but you told me and it took about 10 seconds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people sing happy birthday to you 5% - sing 10% - smile 85% - sit there like an awkward walrus and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
