The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather... In the spring I have counted one hundred and twenty-six different kinds… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn't repent of within twenty-four hours. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I thought tamarinds were made to eat, but that was probably not the idea. I ate several, and it seemed to me… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
This morning arrives a letter from my ancient silver-mining comrade, Calvin H. Higbie, a man whom I have not seen nor had… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome; in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A person who has during all time maintained the imposing position of spiritual head of four-fifths of the human race, and political… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
