I can't remember ever cooking food to impress a woman. The idea's quite cheesy and sort of makes my skin crawl. But… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
It's like cooks don't watch cooking programmes - I suppose maybe comedians don't watch comedy shows. — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
I come from the era when that continental stuff, the skimmed yogurt and a croissant, was a healthy start to the day. — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
After my triple bypass I got my sheet of healthy and unhealthy foods and I was like, croissants!?! Literally as bad as… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
I used to like getting cups and putting tiny bits of food and liquids in them. I'd grow mould plumes in the… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
I was just a toddler when my dad died in a car crash. With my mum, Eunice, being a young widow with a large… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
There is a theory in showbiz circles that mentally you remain the same age as when you first tasted fame, and I think there… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
We've ignored audiences all these years. We've just amused ourselves and hoped enough people would want to eavesdrop to make it all viable. — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
We miss 'House of Fools' a lot. We always enjoyed doing that; it felt a bit like a different and fresh show for British… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
I worked in a chicken factory, in a steel foundry, I worked on the bins for a year or so. It started as a… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
When you have a house full of children, there's never a quiet moment, so I like getting out in the garden for a bit… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
I look at stuff like the 'The Whole 19 Yards' and it reminds me of my childhood watching shows with Mike Reid and kids… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
I like having something I can watch every single night. It suits my habits. — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
A lot of comedians want people to listen to them. I don't think we've ever been that bothered about whether people would want to… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
Our comedy is just falling over, funny faces, arguments, all the comedy basics, really. — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
Before I had my heart problem, if I was asked to do something I would look through a mental file looking for reasons why… — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
