Bob Mortimer

I was just a toddler when my dad died in a car crash. With my mum, Eunice, being a young widow with…

— Bob Mortimer

There is a theory in showbiz circles that mentally you remain the same age as when you first tasted fame, and I…

— Bob Mortimer

We've ignored audiences all these years. We've just amused ourselves and hoped enough people would want to eavesdrop to make it all…

— Bob Mortimer

I think 'the Mighty Boosh' are quite good.

— Bob Mortimer

We miss 'House of Fools' a lot. We always enjoyed doing that; it felt a bit like a different and fresh show…

— Bob Mortimer

I worked in a chicken factory, in a steel foundry, I worked on the bins for a year or so. It started…

— Bob Mortimer

When you have a house full of children, there's never a quiet moment, so I like getting out in the garden for…

— Bob Mortimer

I look at stuff like the 'The Whole 19 Yards' and it reminds me of my childhood watching shows with Mike Reid…

— Bob Mortimer

I like having something I can watch every single night. It suits my habits.

— Bob Mortimer

A lot of comedians want people to listen to them. I don't think we've ever been that bothered about whether people would…

— Bob Mortimer

I hate every moment of live performance.

— Bob Mortimer

I don't know much about history.

— Bob Mortimer

Our comedy is just falling over, funny faces, arguments, all the comedy basics, really.

— Bob Mortimer

I don't think 'Shooting Stars' has ever successfully been replaced.

— Bob Mortimer

Before I had my heart problem, if I was asked to do something I would look through a mental file looking for…

— Bob Mortimer

You can have a mate for 30 years, it's easy.

— Bob Mortimer

I want people to watch us and think, 'They're idiots. They're clowns,' I want them to watch us and think Tommy Cooper…

— Bob Mortimer

Comedy, if it didn't save my life, certainly gave me a very different life.

— Bob Mortimer

Families At War' is a show we are very proud of. It was a great show.

— Bob Mortimer

Our new programmes have always just been different vehicles for the same sort of comedy.

— Bob Mortimer

I eat a tin of sardines every day.

— Bob Mortimer

I get tempted to do a reality show because I enjoy them so much.

— Bob Mortimer

We miss 'House of Fools' a lot. It felt a bit like a different and fresh show for British TV.

— Bob Mortimer

I can't remember ever cooking food to impress a woman. The idea's quite cheesy and sort of makes my skin crawl. But…

— Bob Mortimer

When you've had a heart thing, a lot of the problems are psychological.

— Bob Mortimer