Bob Mortimer

When I was young, having a heart bypass was, 'Woooh!'

— Bob Mortimer

I was the youngest of four boys, raised in North Yorkshire.

— Bob Mortimer

I don't fish but had always wanted to after doing it as a kid.

— Bob Mortimer

I've started to get iritis, which affects the eyes. But I'm not going to give in.

— Bob Mortimer

That's the thing, you see, we were never good enough to write proper punchlines.

— Bob Mortimer

I have always been a bit of a recluse, but I really was after the heart thing. And everyone knew.

— Bob Mortimer

You see idiots on the net but on TV you can't really find them.

— Bob Mortimer

I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy, personally. But some of them are incredibly skilled.

— Bob Mortimer

I didn't think I had time for fishing before I fished.

— Bob Mortimer

After your heart fails, you just feel really vulnerable for a while. You just want telly and your little house. Then, suddenly,…

— Bob Mortimer

When we first did 'Big Night Out,' there was no chance of someone doing a little show in a pub then being…

— Bob Mortimer

I saw Alan Davies on a show from the London Palladium and he did a nice routine about having kids or whatever.…

— Bob Mortimer

After my triple bypass I got my sheet of healthy and unhealthy foods and I was like, croissants!?! Literally as bad as…

— Bob Mortimer

You know the thing I liked about fishing when I was 14 was being out with your mates mucking about, throwing bread…

— Bob Mortimer

I'm not that interested in other people, and I don't have any friends, so I'm not really the ideal candidate for Twitter.

— Bob Mortimer

We're not scientific comedians, thinking like, 'Things have moved on, we need to do this, we need to reflect the world in…

— Bob Mortimer

I never craved having people leave a show saying, 'He's really intelligent, isn't he?' I didn't watch Tommy Cooper and think, 'Oh,…

— Bob Mortimer

They asked me to go on 'Hell's Kitchen' but I'm banned from reality TV by my wife. She's not up for that…

— Bob Mortimer

Rheumatoid arthritis generally happens when your immune system attacks your joints, but I've had it attack my iris.

— Bob Mortimer

Funnily enough, 'Shooting Stars,' that stupid little panel show, is the most influential thing we've done.

— Bob Mortimer