That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
You want a better world...? Legalize pot right now. ...end the deficit? Legalize pot right now...biggest cash crop in America. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
