Drunk Quotes · Page 13

When I'm drunk the whole world turns into a big joke

— Unknow

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.

— John Huston

Getting drunk after a hard day of being sober.

— Anonymous

A drunk tongue is an honest one in my opinion.

— Adele

Well it's hard to remember who, but I drunk dial a lot.

— Adam Garcia

Time is never wasted when youre wasted all the time.

— Anonymous

Wake up drunk go to sleep fucked up

— Wiz Khalifa

I like to get drunk, I'm a power drinker.

— Mike Ashley

I dont like letting my freinds drive drunk, but I was smokin' a joint I really couldn't say shit to the guy.

— Dave Chappelle

As much as I would enjoy being drunk, I think I'd better pass after last night's episode and today's follow-up.

— Anonymous

Beer is not the answer…beer is the question…the answer is yes

— Redstripe Team

“He was addled with April. He was dizzy with Spring. He was as drunk as Lem Forrester on a Saturday night.”

— Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

Creationists use facts the same way a drunk uses a lightpost: for support instead of illumination

— Robert Green Ingersoll

I'm not really the party person. I don't 'become myself' once I'm drunk. I don't use alcohol to be happy.

— Jessie J

“She played me with a bad hand, and I fell for it every time.”

— Steven Ramirez

If you can really laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

— Conan O'Brien

Acting like a drunk = hilarious; taking care of a drunk = horrendous. Just like making fun of ugly people = hilarious; being ugly = horrendous.

— Anonymous

Drunk man get pulled over, the officer ask the man if hes been drinking he says no and slaps a beer label…

— Unkknown

Judges make tough decisions on child abuse, divorce, property disputes, drunk driving, domestic violence and other issues that should be free from…

— Roy Cooper

“Nonsense. This is my first beer. Ah only ever moon people sober. Y’ never know what horrible things might happen if’n ya…

— Elliott Kay

There's no question that we need tougher drunk-driving laws for repeat offenders. We need to take a lesson from European countries where…

— Jesse Ventura

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.

— Doug Stanhope

For my most of my career I've been a falling-down drunk. Most of my interviews were done hungover, and for a while…

— Moby

When you have problems drink and smoke, if not then sleep, if its still there then face it, theres nothing you can…

— Franc

Well to me growing, up I've had my own psychological war with my parents dying at such a young age. My mother…

— Adam Beach

“Some bruises you wear like badges of honour: when you got it playing rugby, or quad racing, or falling off something while…

— paul murray

I have just been to a city in the West, a city full of poets, a city they have made safe for…

— Robert Frost

“Calvin clears his throat. “Do you have anything to drink?” Booze. Right. This is the perfect situation for some booze. I jump…

— Christina Lauren

New Zealanders are so chill. I know they say Australians are chill, and I feel like Australians are chill, but I keep…

— Hari Kondabolu

When you go out with a drunk, you’ll notice how a drunk fills your glass so he can empty his own. As…

— Chuck Palahniuk

I wanted to move on. I wanted to do acting. The next thing I did after [MADtv] was a good hybrid of…

— Simon Helberg

I've been sober now for 18 years. With all the drugs, psychedelics and narcotics I did, I was [really] an alcoholic. Honestly,…

— Dennis Hopper

“If ye can stand up, you're not drunk.”

— Diana Gabaldon

Let's get drunk tonight, baby we don't have to fuck.

— Brokencyde

I hate being drunk when other people are not.

— Anonymous

If I'm drunk enough to dance, take me to the hospital.

— Nikhil Saluja

Drunk people and expensive clothes do not mix.

— Anonymous

Auto correct just cries in the corner when I'm drunk.

— Conor Maynard

High off my love, drunk from my hate.

— Eminem

“I felt a lunatic’s laugh welling up inside me.”

— Steven Ramirez