There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Church worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but in spite of their religion, not because of it. The… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In all the ages the Roman Church has owned slaves, bought and sold slaves, authorized and encouraged her children to trade in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The church is always trying to get other people to reform, it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Adam is fading out. It is on account of Darwin and that crowd. I can see that he is not going to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: "Ye shall be indifferent as to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
