I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot, ... So we said, `Let's give him a promotion. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and all I can do… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstandin g. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
![“We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm…” quote by Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/4ad/stephen-colbert-503_character_we-comics-create-our-own-reality-on-the_1213961.jpg)
