Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep...in a giant blender. — Homer Copy Share Image
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..." — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to… — Red Skelton Copy Share Image
Life is too short to spend forty to fifty hours around people who do nothing but stress you out and make you… — Perry Noble Copy Share Image
“* Get one of those marvellous pink rabbit hand blenders. Like the ones I've seen on the late-night shopping channel.” — Bridget Golightly Copy Share Image
The time has come to knock off this religion business in American politics. There's no end to the mischief that can occur.… — Lowell P. Weicker, Jr Copy Share Image
When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders. — Stephan Pastis Copy Share Image
Kids are great in that they keep you on your toes. They're like a puzzle... in a blender, haha. You have to… — Raheem Jarbo Copy Share Image
When I'm 18, I can finally order that paid programming stuff on TV. Like it always says, 'Must be 18 or older… — Austin Mahone Copy Share Image
Dear Die-ary, today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender. I'm wondering if, maybe, there really… — Jhonen Vasquez Copy Share Image
Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Economics played a role. Raleighs have gone from six fifty to nine dollars a carton, but there's a three-quarter cent coupon on… — Earl Weaver Copy Share Image
Wine lovers have known for centuries that decanting wine before serving it often improves its flavor. Whatever the dominant process, the traditional… — Nathan Myhrvold Copy Share Image
As MBA professors endlessly tell their students, companies do best when they stick to what they do well. There's a reason Apple… — Jeffrey Kluger Copy Share Image
Hi, Max," she said, pushing her shades up onto her curls. "I hope your wearing sunscreen," i said, “your gonna have hella… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
I don't know how a culture is going to evolve, but I think the way the Internet works now is, people go… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
I'm not really caught up with celebrity women. I think a regular girl that goes to school or works at a Complex… — Wale Copy Share Image
Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor, What have you done to my boy? He's not flesh and blood, he's aluminum alloy!" The… — Tim Burton Copy Share Image
I have the ordinary experience of having the blender bottom come off in my room upstairs. I have the ordinary experience of… — Harrison Ford Copy Share Image
What's impossible not to notice, though - it's all around us - is the diminution of American prose: How pedestrian it has… — Cynthia Ozick Copy Share Image
Shame on you, Crispin. Married how long, and you haven't spanked your wife with a metal spatula yet?" I'd gotten used to… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
Wrangham cites several studies indicating that in fact humans don't do well on raw food: they can't maintain their body weight, and… — Michael Pollan Copy Share Image
Science fiction is like a blender - you can put in any historical experience and take influences from everything you see, read… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
Looking to any angry, anxious, or otherwise stressed emotional state to help you sort out the pain you're in is like trying… — Guy Finley Copy Share Image
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender. — Albert Brooks Copy Share Image
Quarkbeasts, for all their fearsome looks, are obedient to a fault. They are nine-tenths velociraptor and kitchen blender and one-tenth Labrador. It… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
Raw foodists are kind of paddling upstream against evolution. The only reason they can do it, and they don't all keel over,… — Michael Pollan Copy Share Image
Some of these bulls are gonna' spin those cowboys so fast, they'll look like a frog in a blender. — Wayne White Copy Share Image
Lightweight and slim, immersion blenders can appear to have all the grit of a Bichon Frise, but the reality is that they're… — Sohla El-Waylly Copy Share Image
I'm a mess right now I can't eat can't sleep Bills are piling high ain't worked in three weeks Ain't bathed can't… — Anthony Hamilton Copy Share Image
Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I'm trying to photosynthesize like a plant. I'm off eating. Although I am making a lot of banana daiquiries in my room… — Jimmy Page Copy Share Image
Even though I have fond feelings for comedy clubs, I enjoy the focus you get in a theater. Comedy clubs are a… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm just a one-instrument player. I have been known to play a blender, but I basically play - just play the violin. — Itzhak Perlman Copy Share Image
Have you ever wanted to put your head in a blender and turn on the liquefy switch? (Tate) — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
Don't go to Bed Bath & Beyond hungry unless you love anxiety and have lots of cash to spend on blenders. — Olivia Wilde Copy Share Image
I use quite a bit in my kitchen, but the one thing that's an absolute must would have to be my high-speed… — Margaret Chapman Copy Share Image
