Average women believe they need a man to feel wanted & loved. Real women are very desired, have self-love, & do just… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I typed married but it was auto-corrected to martyred. Damn,smartphone has gained intelligence. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
“If a girl admits that she likes you, know that it took her every ounce of courage she has, don't take it… — Green Monk Courage Copy Share Image
It takes about 35 years for a woman to reach their sexual peak. For a man it takes about 5 to 10 mins — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I love a woman who knows how beautiful she is, but doesn't let it change her attitude towards the world. — Green Monk Attitude Copy Share Image
When someone says: 'Expect the unexpected.' Slap their face and say: 'You didn't expect that, did you?' — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I bet in Africa they play commercials of American stripper girls starving for their father's attention. — Green Monk Africa Copy Share Image
Listen closely when your kiddo tell you their dreams. Just puke on them when they laugh. — Green Monk Dreams Copy Share Image
Dear alarm clock, It might be you they hit on, but it's me they're sleeping with. Sincerely, bed. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Every woman deserves a man who respects her and every man deserves a woman who appreciates his efforts. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? . . . Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case someone tries to break in and pitch a no-hitter! — Green Monk Baseball Copy Share Image
When I was 18 I met with a terrible accident. I was thrown out of a car window... by the boyfriend of… — Green Monk Accident Copy Share Image
If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you? . . . If my friends jumped off a cliff, it would be… — Green Monk Friendship Copy Share Image
It's called a joke. Just read it and laugh. Don't try to analyze it and take it literally. — Green Monk Comedy Copy Share Image
My teacher said I had a self sabotaging personality when I showed up drunk for traffic school. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
No I dont drink alcohol. Why put something in my body that's so potent it can convince a girl to sleep with… — Green Monk Alcohol Copy Share Image
I didn't know I would hate you this much. I gotta go out with you on vacation again. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Parents, tell your kids they'll end up in hell if they become fat. Trust me, they will thank you when they grow… — Green Monk Inspiring Copy Share Image
Every 6 seconds somewhere a woman is sexually unfulfilled. Every 5 seconds somewhere a man knows it too. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
My girlfriend said she liked to be teased in the bedroom so, last night in bed I told her, Your new glasses… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Fact: The more rhinestones a girl has on her clothes, the easier it is for a guy to take them off. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Of course I look both ways when crossing a one way street. You never know what kind of idiot is behind the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval — Green Monk Computers Copy Share Image
A news paper seems more intresting when . . . The person sitting next to you is reading it... — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I hate when people assume I'm crazy & delusional rather than brave when I'm out fighting crime in my Superman costume. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ladies, if you give men a choice between two things they'll pick the first. They stopped listening and didn't hear the second — Green Monk Choice Copy Share Image
Valentine's Day is only three weeks away. So remember, it's not too late to break-up. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The adult in me wants Vodka, while the kid in me wants Orange Juice. It's a good thing they get along. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I understand the weight of love. As soon as you fall in love she continually starts to get heavier — Green Monk Fall in love Copy Share Image
It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created you, beat out 1,000,000 others. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Just saw the weirdest thing. A businessman was walking & wasn't on the phone acting like his call will determine the fate… — Green Monk Businessman Copy Share Image
A real man doesn't need a whole lot of women to make him feel like a king, only ONE! The ONE! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ladies ! Don't be comfortable being anyone's secret . A real man will be more than honored to call you his lady . ¥ — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I must have been really pissed when I drove home last night. We don't own a tractor. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Love is a complicated peice of machinery. Sometimes all you need is a good hammershot to fix it. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If I had a $1.00 for every time my dad called me a failure…I wouldn't be a failure anymore — Green Monk Dad Copy Share Image
If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When you're given a second chance, it's because God thought it was funny when you screwed up the first time and He… — Green Monk Chance Copy Share Image
Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, Suck what? — Green Monk Brides Copy Share Image
