A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. — Erma Bombeck Grandmother Copy Share Image
Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much. — Erma Bombeck Death Copy Share Image
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. — Erma Bombeck Chains Copy Share Image
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists… — Erma Bombeck Cooking Copy Share Image
It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. — Erma Bombeck Affair Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Kids Copy Share Image
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? — Erma Bombeck Carousel Copy Share Image
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer… — Erma Bombeck Book Copy Share Image
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of… — Erma Bombeck Being a mom Copy Share Image
Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
We even switched to a newly-formed church across the town that gave one hundred and twenty trading stamps each time we attended.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous… — Erma Bombeck Companion Copy Share Image
“Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us… — Erma Bombeck Baby Copy Share Image
When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they… — Erma Bombeck Always smile Copy Share Image
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look… — Erma Bombeck Bathing suit Copy Share Image
“To be honest, however, I will have to admit that I wrote this book for the original model - the one who… — Erma Bombeck Book Copy Share Image
We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't… — Erma Bombeck Battle Copy Share Image
“I want to teach you so much that you must know to find happiness within yourself. Yet I don't know where to… — Erma Bombeck Happiness Copy Share Image
The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding… — Erma Bombeck Borrowing money Copy Share Image
Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults… — Erma Bombeck Adolescence Copy Share Image
“In all honesty, men changed a few rules when they became what was referred to as househusbands. Bill didn't make beds, cook,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“Childhood is a time for pretending and trying on maturity to see if it fits or hangs baggy, tastes good or bitter,… — Erma Bombeck Aging Copy Share Image
“When God Created Mothers" When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel… — Erma Bombeck Black coffee Copy Share Image
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. — Erma Bombeck Buzzards Copy Share Image
Dont confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. — Erma Bombeck Fame Copy Share Image
After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery. — Erma Bombeck Age Copy Share Image
I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky. — Erma Bombeck Air travel Copy Share Image
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
![“[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.” quote by Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/221/erma-bombeck-780_death_on-her-father-s-death-i-didn-t-know-his_1914411.png)
