Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. — Erma Bombeck Dream Copy Share Image
Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus. — Erma Bombeck Air travel Copy Share Image
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip. — Erma Bombeck Baseball Copy Share Image
I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment. — Erma Bombeck Family Copy Share Image
If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney. — Erma Bombeck Attorney Copy Share Image
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age… — Erma Bombeck Age Copy Share Image
Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated. — Erma Bombeck Estates Copy Share Image
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best. — Erma Bombeck Child Copy Share Image
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises. — Erma Bombeck Comedy Copy Share Image
Myths that need clarification: "No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears." False.… — Erma Bombeck Canyons Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.'… — Erma Bombeck Dream Copy Share Image
Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. ~Hans Christian Anderson When I stand before God… — Erma Bombeck Freedom Copy Share Image
Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth! — Erma Bombeck Food Copy Share Image
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. — Erma Bombeck American football Copy Share Image
Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating? — Erma Bombeck Cooking Copy Share Image
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. — Erma Bombeck Children Copy Share Image
Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. — Erma Bombeck Brain dead Copy Share Image
Kitchen wisdom: Count your blessings but count your calories too. — Erma Bombeck Blessings Copy Share Image
I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell. — Erma Bombeck Inspirational Copy Share Image
I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer. — Erma Bombeck Doctors Copy Share Image
