Phrases and their actual meanings: My teacher has never liked me. Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you… — Erma Bombeck Children Copy Share Image
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an… — Erma Bombeck Air travel Copy Share Image
“...the words of young Ted Kennedy, Jr., who lost his leg to cancer. "People are taught we should look perfect," he said.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced… — Erma Bombeck Cooking Copy Share Image
Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you… — Erma Bombeck Body Copy Share Image
I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to… — Erma Bombeck Before and after Copy Share Image
Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the… — Erma Bombeck Absence Copy Share Image
Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs… — Erma Bombeck Class Copy Share Image
I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe… — Erma Bombeck Baby Copy Share Image
My mother phones daily to ask, "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no, she adds, "So, if you're… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
