Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was just the first prenatal visit. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Most mothers entering the labor market outside the home are naive. They stagger home each evening, holding mail in their teeth, the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Mothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I'll tell them: I loved you enough… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing… Thinking back on it all, it must have been the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“When God Created Mothers" When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My mother phones daily to ask, "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no, she adds, "So, if you're… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share
![“I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay…” quote by Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/cff/erma-bombeck-780_ambivalent_i-m-real-ambivalent-about-working-mother_1082454.png)
![“It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.” quote by Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/45d/erma-bombeck-780_existence_it-s-motherhood-the-biggest-on-the-job-t_2664999.png)
