Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy". — Christopher Moore Blessed Copy Share Image
“Fine, as the tailor said to the broke and naked knight, suit yourself.” — Christopher Moore Fashion Copy Share Image
“I love you, Lucien, but I am a muse, you are an artist, I am not here to make you comfortable.” — Christopher Moore Art Copy Share Image
Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Nothing fucks up a religion like an intervention from a real God.” — Christopher Moore God Copy Share Image
“no somos más que políticos: vociferantes putas de la retórica.” — Christopher Moore Amor Copy Share Image
It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Which isn’t, like, as bad as it sounds, because the general public kind of sucks ass.” — Christopher Moore General public Copy Share Image
“down bummer," Charlie said. "just chill." he didn't know if chill was an official dog command, but it should be.” — Christopher Moore Animal Copy Share Image
“How would I feel if I woke up and she told me that we had done it while I slept? I’d be… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I looked around for one but couldn't… — Christopher Moore American music Copy Share Image
“But I have known many women--many women indeed, and it is in their nature to confound us, Othello. They are all by… — Christopher Moore Feminism Copy Share Image
“I try to stick to one, single rule, “If you don’t have anything to say, shut the fuck up.” I think that’s… — Christopher Moore Bible Copy Share Image
“Shylock repointed his twitching, accusatory digit at his daughter. “You do not say such things in my house. You—you—you—you—” “Run along, love,… — Christopher Moore Children Copy Share Image
“My skin cleared up! I don't have a single zit." -Tommy Ding, ding, ding," Jody onomatopeed, signaling that Tommy had hit on… — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“For it is written that "if the wise man appears always stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant… — Christopher Moore Failure Copy Share Image
You can't teach someone to be funny, but you can teach comic timing. If you listen to a good comic, you can… — Christopher Moore Comedy Copy Share Image
“Does the work get easier once you know what you are doing?" "Your lungs grow thick with stone dust and your eyes… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“At the pet store he picked out two painted turtles, each about as big around as a mayonnaise-jar lid. He bought them… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“So, like, the master needed a hand, if you know what I mean, so I was like, "Oh chill, it's a stress… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Little-boy love...the cleanest pain I've ever known. Love without desire, conditions, or limits - a pure and radiant glow in the heart… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“From the slope of Haleakala, the Old Broad watched the activity in the channel with a two-hundred-power celestial telescope and a pair… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“The hip-hop guy nodded curtly, like he knew that, and despite appearances to the contrary, he had not been trippin', but had,… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Tommy had completely forgotten that he was horny. He had always been horny, and had accepted that he always would be horny.… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Before we knew it a year had passed, then two more, and we were celebrating the passage of Joshua’s seventeenth birthday in… — Christopher Moore Birthday Copy Share Image
“If manta rays are going to be harmless, they should look more harmless, Pardee thought. Fuckers look like aquatic Draculas.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die. — Christopher Moore Comedy Copy Share Image
“not the end of the world, just darkness over everything," Charlie cheerfully said. "it gets dark - turn on a light.” — Christopher Moore Darkness Copy Share Image
“Oh my God, you're like Obnoxious and Annoying had an ass baby!” — Christopher Moore Obnoxious Copy Share Image
“Your puny worm god weapons are useless against my superior Christmas Kung Fu.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I so adored her when she let her warrior queen armor fall, and came, silly and giggling, into my arms.” — Christopher Moore Love Copy Share Image
Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge. — Christopher Moore Children Copy Share Image
All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
