Your puny worm god weapons are useless against my superior…

“Love them all," said Renoir. "That is the secret, young man. Love them all." The painter let go of his arm and shrugged. "Then,…

— Christopher Moore

“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.”

— Christopher Moore

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.

— Christopher Moore

Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.

— Christopher Moore

“I hope you are not here to ask me to do my bawdy business- the monkey has a nosebleed and the circus, sir, is…

— Christopher Moore

The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.

— Christopher Moore

“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.”

— Christopher Moore

Children see magic because they look for it.

— Christopher Moore

“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend…

— Christopher Moore

“You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.”

— Christopher Moore

How could you deal with a creature as devious as woman.

— Christopher Moore

“…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.”

— Christopher Moore

Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the…

— Christopher Moore

“Give us a call or you know, flash a searchlight in the sky with your logo on it, because we monitor everything.”

— Christopher Moore

“it wasn't so much like the hands of time had stood still here, more like they'd been thrown in the air in exasperation, the…

— Christopher Moore