I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere. — Victoria Beryl Zelinski Copy Share Image
Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think I might vote for Barack Obama. Because I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit in conversation is only a readiness of thought and a facility of expression, or a quick conception and an easy delivery. — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
I took nine years of French, but I can't remember any of it. I realized on the plane ride over that if… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have little brothers and sisters, and they annoy me a lot, but I love them so much because they're so smart… — Letitia Wright Copy Share Image
Sorry I can't today... My sisters friends mothers fathers sons grandsons uncles fish died. And yes, it was tragic — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Guys like him? They were the worst kind. All looks and no heart. Guys not like him? They were all deceiving, freaking… — Rucy Ban Copy Share Image
Wit never appears to greater advantage than when it is successfully exerted to relieve from a dilemma, palliate a deficiency, or cover… — Christian Nestell Bovee Copy Share Image
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, color to enhance your beauty. On his collar, color only a tramp would wear! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Clicking REMEMBER password makes it easier for you to FORGET it. — Sivuyile Simanga_Swagga39 Copy Share Image
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect. — Mae West Copy Share Image
“Basic research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I am doing.” — Wernher Von Braun Copy Share Image
Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pick up lines never work...I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive. — Kate Upton Copy Share Image
If I was a serial killer I'd use my knife to make strangers kiss in front of me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are free... when you are in control of yours lf and do not wish to control others. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“You will have relatively less problems to solve, if you don't confuse problems with inconveniences.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
