Homework's hard. Especially math. My kids joke with me. They tell me they have homework. I say, 'Okay.' And then I sit… — Angelina Jolie Copy Share Image
I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage,… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
“A jolly young fellow from Yuma Told an elephant joke to a puma; now his skeleton lies beneath hot western skies- the… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Half of being a comedian is knowing how to pace a joke, how to say it, so someone else could be given… — Janelle James Copy Share Image
I'm a storyteller in a joke format. I tell stories, I try to have a lot of jokes constantly through that story.… — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
Some girls too day crazy how can she do such a thing,WHAT HAPPEN? she just pollute the meeting room!!,WHAT DID SHE TAKE… — Juniorjk Copy Share Image
I thought I m in love, My nites going sleeples My days going useles So I askd GOD Is dis LOVE? God… — AB Copy Share Image
I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What 'SNL' taught me that was useful on 'The Watch' was, only put in bad words if they can get a laugh… — Akiva Schaffer Copy Share Image
There's that great Irish joke: a man is lost in the countryside, stops a passer-by: 'how do I get to Dublin?'. The… — Tim Crane Copy Share Image
People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
You learn timing on the road. You learn structure and how to read an audience. You learn so much about the business… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
Lucasfilm called me out of the blue, and I almost hung up because I thought it was a practical joke. This was… — Dave Filoni Copy Share Image
I had big teeth, and I was goofy. I probably used to mess with people too much. People were always trying to… — Lamorne Morris Copy Share Image
Basically, we used to have a rule at 'Saturday Night Live' that you're not allowed to bring up 'The Simpsons' at the… — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
You know, I liken it to - when you write a joke for somebody else, it's like you - you know, like… — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
“You, Stan, are covered with dirt and leaves.'' ''I just applied for a job as a tree,'' I said. It made so… — Sean Beaudoin Copy Share Image
In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I… — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
There are certain types of stand-up, who are very successful, who do one type of joke, and never stray out of that.… — Sean Lock Copy Share Image
My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit… — Bill Nighy Copy Share Image
“Consider the Jewish joke, with the old lady running distractedly along the seashore: Help! My son the doctor is drowning. Amusing, I… — Martin Amis Copy Share Image
If a condescending joke is truly funny, make yourself the subject- you will increase the number of people laughing by at least… — Joe Harsel Copy Share Image
All the time the joke is that the word "mine" in its fully possessive sense cannot be uttered by a human being… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
As much as we joke around about 'The Bachelor' being the most dramatic show ever, Miss America really is an amazingly dramatic… — Chris Harrison Copy Share Image
“Where have you been?" he asked slowly. "Um, in the bathroom, mostly," Larry said. Let's just say my plumbing is not working… — Kevin Sylvester Copy Share Image
On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
What I find shocking is that there's this thought process that Hillary Clinton is going to be president of the United States,… — Steve Bannon Copy Share Image
Everyone's life would be improved if they do could one great magic trick. And tell one great joke, play one tune on… — Harry Anderson Copy Share Image
There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be… — A. P. Herbert Copy Share Image
It was in the back of a hamburger joint in Times Square. I did a joke about not wanting to sleep on… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
I think the way British wrestling lost its way in the mid '80s was that the athleticism and the sporting side to… — Wade Barrett Copy Share Image
People ask me to tell a joke or entertain at a benefit or something, and they are really surprised when I tell… — Demond Wilson Copy Share Image
So, whenever Scooter was the Pilot, he never had a chance to fly the orbiter. So, the joke is: I'm going to… — Duane G. Carey Copy Share Image
I think so much of kids' television, kids' entertainment, is done by adults from a looking-back point of view. If we come… — Dan Schneider Copy Share Image
I remember when I first walked into an American locker room, and no one had ever seen a 130-pound wrestler before. Those… — Rey Mysterio Copy Share Image
There's been lots of theater that uses hip-hop in it, but more often than not, it's used as a joke - isn't… — Lin-Manuel Miranda Copy Share Image
It doesn't mean you can't discuss important things, but I would never do a joke about cancer, just because I don't think… — Jon Richardson Copy Share Image
There is a tragic kind of joke. You really can't keep a man down - good but often otherwise - because history's… — Wesley Morris Copy Share Image
![“All the time the joke is that the word "mine" in its fully possessive sense cannot be uttered by a human being about anything. In the long run either [Satan] or God will say "mine" of each thing that exists, and specially of each man.” quote by C. S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/eea/c-s-lewis-2-132_gods-will_all-the-time-the-joke-is-that-the-word-m_2193820.png)
