I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because… — Walton Goggins Copy Share Image
If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or… — Amy Carmichael Copy Share Image
“Hey,” he said. “Hi.” Oh, damn. It was awkward. “What’re you doing?” “Shearing a sheep. It’s cold outside, and I need a… — Chanelle Gray Copy Share Image
The whole time that I was doing the voice of Korra, I would always joke around saying that nobody's gonna give me… — Janet Varney Copy Share Image
“Each one you take is a commitment. If you break that commitment, the gods of alcohol will punish you with a hangover… — Cora Carmack Copy Share Image
“GRANDMA: Are you a gay? ORPHEUS: I am straight. I'm definitely dating a girl, gran. Do you think she's a man? *She… — Scarlett Brukett Copy Share Image
It's like a cosmic joke that people dream to perform in front of a huge crowd. But it is a welcomed challenge.… — Julien Baker Copy Share Image
I like to joke that I already married a 26-year-old and divorced a 29-year-old, so I wasn't going to do that again… — Grant Show Copy Share Image
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“You'll have to excuse Zo's manners. She was raised by a group of indigenous swamp wallabies and is at times uncomfortable conversing… — Jennifer Lynn Barnes Copy Share Image
The opening scene in A New Hope, when you see the huge ship, it goes on, and on, and on, and on,… — Cass Sunstein Copy Share Image
Stewardesses were a joke to many of us coming of age in the liberated Sixties. They were no joke in the women's… — Cathleen Schine Copy Share Image
“The great joke is that the next time is never like the last time, and yet we can’t help readying ourselves for… — Peter Lynch Copy Share Image
You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
I have been recording every single one of my shows since 1994. Every single joke I've ever done is on a hard… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
“Yeah, go ahead and get the forbidden garden comment out of your system. And no matter what witty snake joke you're considering?… — Leah Clifford Copy Share Image
Some People Don't Know When To Open Their Mouth And Talk. They Don't Know When To Start And Stop. They Don't Know… — Sabelo Lan Mashabela Copy Share Image
'The State' had never done improv. We used to go over scripts for weeks and argue about every joke. But I don't… — Robert Ben Garant Copy Share Image
I do a joke in my stand-up where I say I'm a Christian, but I'm not a Christian comedian. I think that's… — Anjelah Johnson Copy Share Image
Yes the moustache appeared for the first time about 10 years ago and it was grown as a joke of course but… — Mike Wozniak Copy Share Image
For years and years, I was beset with snide remarks by certain members of the press, where they would turn John Oates… — Daryl Hall Copy Share Image
“Nakamura considered this. "I hesitate to agree, but that was probably a good idea." "A compliment! My goodness, let me mark the… — Kevin Sylvester Copy Share Image
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we… — Vanessa Bayer Copy Share Image
I've been working with my glam team since I was in my early twenties. We always used to joke about what we… — Naomi Ackie Copy Share Image
When I am working, I have a great time. I joke and fool around. All those people who keep a sour face… — Arshad Warsi Copy Share Image
I got into darts from watching on TV, and I used to joke with my friends, 'I could do that, I could… — John Part Copy Share Image
It's harder when people are playing along, because it's just not as funny. They're trying to be funny, and it sort of… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
Gweneth [sic] Paltrow is a joke. Her life is like taking bullets for a soldier. What a joke! My 2 sons serving… — Cindy McCain Copy Share Image
“Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Gravy Train!!!! started out as a joke where we'd crash parties and be really obnoxious, and then somehow we got somewhat famous,… — Hunx Copy Share Image
The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He… — Dick Cavett Copy Share Image
The idea that Donald Trump committed an abuse of power by bringing politics into a foreign relationship is a joke. They all… — Steve Hilton Copy Share Image
I nearly got hit by a car while I was trying to write a stupid joke but a female sheep stood in… — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
Comedy is a very personal thing, as you would know if you've ever told the same joke to two people and had… — Andrew Denton Copy Share Image
It would be a joke to compare Gerd Muller to other strikers. What he achieved, the number of games and the goals… — Miroslav Klose Copy Share Image
A lot of times people come up to me saying 'oh my god you can see,' and they think they're the first… — Nat Wolff Copy Share Image
The fact that 'Mom' is not joke, joke, joke - and is investing in these characters and their lives, things that really… — Allison Janney Copy Share Image
I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort… — Todd Barry Copy Share Image
It is rare for a joke to emerge fully formed and it is worth grafting away until it is absolutely right. Though… — Richard Herring Copy Share Image
I used to joke that I came to England - not to the U.S. where most Koreans go - because I like… — Ha-Joon Chang Copy Share Image
![“Gweneth [sic] Paltrow is a joke. Her life is like taking bullets for a soldier. What a joke! My 2 sons serving in the military should talk to her,” quote by Cindy McCain](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/673/cindy-mccain-16878_bullets_gweneth-sic-paltrow-is-a-joke-her-life-i_1600913.jpg)
