If mini skirts today get any shorter... women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, and a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Once you even acknowledge that there is a line, that there are things you shouldn’t be allowed to joke about, that there… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
I didn't know if I could be funny on stage or write a joke. But I saw that there are no rules.… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and a Muslim mullah all walk into a bar, and the bartender says: - What is… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
On 'Adam Ruins Everything' we do the broadest sketch comedy possible. We do stuff where you can see it immediately and know… — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he… — Seth Meyers Copy Share Image
If you're not going to give a smile, you can not, some lukewarm, if it is not possible to hear a joke!… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
“You can't deal with being odd? ... Become like them... Become drug delear... Live their lifes... have fun ... and be honest...” — Deyth Banger Copy Share Image
“I recall the story of the philosopher and the theologian... The two were engaged in disputation and the theologian used the old… — Julian Huxley Copy Share Image
I keep on repeating something told to me by an American psychologist: "When you are making a joke about someone and you… — Tariq Ramadan Copy Share Image
I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“An Irishman walks into a pub,” she begins and the bar went silent. “The bartender asks him, ‘What'll you have?’” Her Irish… — Fisher Amelie Copy Share Image
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical,… — Alan King Copy Share Image
There was an April Fool's thing that I totally fell for which was this kit were you could grow grass on your… — Alana Haim Copy Share Image
My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it -… — David Gordon Green Copy Share Image
You can either just have fun with the joke or you can have fun with the joke and think about the implication… — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
We honestly shouldn't be paying attention to nothing Kanye West says until he actually goes out there and gets the help we… — Charlamagne tha God Copy Share Image
Feeling like you were a joke to your partner of nine years... is devastating, but I want to show other women that… — Ariana Madix Copy Share Image
“We come from nothing, we go back into nothing. That nothing is something, that something is everything. That everything is the cosmos.… — Gian Kumar Copy Share Image
I have a lot of glass in my house, and I remember saying as a joke once that I clean my stuff… — Courteney Cox Copy Share Image
Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
A joke is a good camouflage. Next best comes sentiment... But the best camouflage of all - in my opinion - is… — Max Frisch Copy Share Image
“Piper: it looks like we have hole. Percy: Yeah we've got a dam hole! (LOL-ing) Piper: What! Percy: Inside joke. (still LOL-ing)… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“On his good days, he tried to teach me everything he knew." "What about his bad days?" "On his bad days, he… — Sage Blackwood Copy Share Image
I think because people can't understand our style, they think it's a joke. Our music isn't intellectual - we make music for… — Watkin Tudor Jones Copy Share Image
When you're sitting in the theater watching your own work be performed, you get to see people's reactions immediately. Unlike with a… — Stephen McCauley Copy Share Image
My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
I don't like irony and sarcasm very much. But I do like it when you think someone is telling you a joke,… — Jens Lekman Copy Share Image
A good joke provides tension, and then, release of that tension. You build the tension by saying things that are controversial. The… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
When sleep over at my place, you can have my bed .but not my Pillow I feel like you had to much… — Syntific Copy Share Image
“This wise old whiskery fish swims up to three young fish and goes, 'Morning, boys, how's the water?' and swims away; and… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
Back in the day, if someone said that hip hop and rap was a fad, that was a joke to me because… — Jam Master Jay Copy Share Image
“Hey, Stone. I heard a new CIA joke. Okay: how can we be sure the CIA wasn’t involved in the Kennedy assassination?”… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“...of all the seeds that fly about the world, the one with the most solid wings, enabling it to be scattered at… — Marcel Proust Copy Share Image
I'm surrounded by women whose style I admire. It's natural to be inspired. I'm not a horrible copycat, or if I am,… — Emily Weiss Copy Share Image
“It sometime occurred to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the… — Tao Lin Copy Share Image
I realized that you didn't have to make self-deprecating remarks or turn yourself into the butt of some unspoken joke. I also… — Maeve Binchy Copy Share Image
There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it's not so much a good joke anymore. 'Everybody's from Scranton; no… — Joe Biden Copy Share Image
