“In some company it’s perfectly all right to prick your finger, but very bad form to finger your prick.” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“It is meant to be survival of the fittest, not survival of the most floral.” — Stephen Herfst Copy Share Image
“Tell me you spotted a condom tree over to the right by the stream of lube.” — Jane Davitt Copy Share Image
“I'd said it before and meant it.Alive or undead,the love of my life was a bad ass.” — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“The public thinks big, sensible, measured thoughts while people run around doing silly things” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“What are you doing here?” All right, he was standing in front of an easel, holding a paint palette and brush. “Taxidermy?”… — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
“You cannot, it seems, let children run about the streets. People who have seen them running wild in Russia say that the… — Virginia Woolf Copy Share Image
“They desecrate Riora’s sacred temple! She will be enraged.” “Oh, gods, look at the marble. We are all beyond doomed.” “Somebody put… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Student : Would you punish me teacher for some mistake that I did not do? Teacher : of course, why would I… — Janik Seshan Copy Share Image
Dear Bird, What the hell are you Always so happy about at four In The Morning... ? Sincerely, Shut Up, Am trying… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
“The trouble with doing a thing for cosmetic reasons is that one always ends up with a cosmetic result, and cosmetic results,… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
“Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries” — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“I stroke a finger over my own top button, undo it, then let my hand drop with an exaggerated sigh. "It's not… — Kate Tough Copy Share Image
“...and specimens like this confirmed there had been some kind of divine rule in the universe because no natural selection process was… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
“if you're a teenaged babysitter caring for a mute toddler in a remote Maine cabin during a once-in-a-century blizzard while and escaped… — Seth Grahame-Smith Copy Share Image
Humour is the describing the ludicrous as it is in itself; wit is the exposing it, by comparing or contrasting it with… — William Hazlitt Copy Share Image
“Her knee caught him between the legs with pitiless accuracy, driving the wind from his chest, making him teeter for a breathless… — Joe Abercrombie Copy Share Image
“You were always grossly obese,' observed Stephen. 'Were you to walk ten miles a day, and eat half what you do in… — Patrick O'Brian Copy Share Image
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'd love for my ambition and will and intellect and sense of humour to define me as well. I'm definitely responsible for… — Eva Mendes Copy Share Image
“After the brightness of the morning, the interior of the pavilion seemed cool and dim. Stannis seated himself on a plain wooden… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“I think if Jeremy Corbyn got a cloak, he'd make a very good Gandalf.” — Henry Miller Copy Share Image
“There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millett's” — Half Man Half Biscuit Copy Share Image
“Run. Flee. Fuck off. Vanish from my presence and take the foul stench of your sordid secret with you.” — St. John Morris Copy Share Image
Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them. — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
“I didn’t resent the badgers. I just didn’t see why they made her stop loving me…” — Rob Palk Copy Share Image
“There are a lot of fun vacation spots in the universe; the bug-pits of Aylorta Five are not one of them.” — Michael S. Atkinson Copy Share Image
“I fall off horses," he explained to Loghain with a sickly grin. "It's this thing I do.” — David Gaider Copy Share Image
“I'm not tired,I'm just checking my eyelids for holes.It could take a while.” — Suzanne Wright Copy Share Image
“It also makes my father right again. How will I ever soar with the eagles if I'm surrounded by turkeys?” — A.S. King Copy Share Image
“She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot.” — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
Any good actor has to have a good sense of humour, too; they have to be able to manipulate people. — Chevy Chase Copy Share Image
A sense of humour and a little lack of respect: That's what you need to make a legend survive. — Karl Lagerfeld Copy Share Image
“I find cures.” Thwackonax moaned. “I don’t find problems, that’s my patient’s part of the job.” — Keisha Keenleyside Copy Share Image
It's a sad day for American Capitalism when a man can't fly a midget on a kite over central park. — Jim Moran Copy Share Image
“Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring. [points to self]” — Bill Lawrence Copy Share Image
![“Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring. [points to self]” quote by Bill Lawrence](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/fd6/bill-lawrence-32115_caring_dr-cox-ladies-and-gentlemen-allow-me-to_2145760.jpg)
