“Shocked my old friend from China, Deja Vu, when I turned up at his door without notice.” — Nikhil Sharda Copy Share Image
“We left dents on each other. Mine was in her heart, and hers was on my car.” — J.A. ANUM Copy Share Image
MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“There is so much woman in many a girl and too much boy in many a man.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
We Can Be Like Mc Donalds and Burger King; I'll Have It My Way, And You'll Be Lovin' It. — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
“You have to make choices even when there is nothing to choose from.” — Péter Zilahy Copy Share Image
“Your ancient enemy is basically just a really, really big squirrel” — Sebastien de Castell Copy Share Image
“Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
He that cometh to seek after knowledge, with a mind to scorn, shall be sure to find matter for his humour, but… — Francis Bacon Copy Share Image
My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't… — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
“It was nothing. We played tic-tac-toe for a while. You know we do that sometimes." "Oh, I know," Teagan says. "Okay, how… — Elizabeth Scott Copy Share Image
“Step up to red alert." Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb." - Rimmer & Kryten, "Red Dwarf” — Rob Grant; Grant Naylor Copy Share Image
“Max looked around. "Where's your mutt?" "Right here, asleep. He won't bite you again. I've talked to him about it, and he's… — Rachel Gibson Copy Share Image
“Might as well toss this, Chickie, it's ruined. What was it like, getting shot?" "What kind of a dumb ass question is… — MaryJanice Davidson Copy Share Image
“Maybe am too much on men, but sincerely, today’s man has literally grown indolent in love. He fast falls asleep even before… — F Otieno Copy Share Image
“Ah,well," Said Abe, idly studying his fingertips. "I have it on good authority there's going to be a new 'gate' opening up… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll… — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“She shivered as he left her to go to the fire, and find water and cloths. He leaned into the light, and… — Kristin Cashore Copy Share Image
Humour very often consists of shrewd perceptions about people. It's usually fun at someone's expense. Nowadays if you're funny at anybody's expense… — Robertson Davies Copy Share Image
“An Ass put on a Lion's skin and went About the foreset with much merriment, Scaring the foolish beasts by brooks and… — Aesop Copy Share Image
“Probably your biggest mistake was doing funk-dance to Unchained Melody,” the dog offered earnestly. “It’s a ballad, Alf, and to be honest,… — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my… — Drew Barrymore Copy Share Image
“Demalion, we’re alive.’ Pantera’s voice was unusually clipped, as if his patience had finally run to an end. ‘If we were trying… — M.C. Scott Copy Share Image
If you put your finger in your ear, and scratch it, it sounds just like pac man :) — Ricardo Alexandre Copy Share Image
Honestly, I have a decent sense of humour with people I am close to. — Anita Hassanandani Reddy Copy Share Image
“It's good to let your mind wonder, as long as you know where it's going” — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
“You've messed with the wrong god if you get keys to willy wonka chocolate factory and diabetes the same day..” — Animesh Singh Copy Share Image
“We can't all be bakers or chefs. Many of us have modest ambitions. But we can all buy a piece of the… — Amah Lambert Copy Share Image
“IF YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE STUPID,IT MEANS YOU ARE INTELLIGENT.” — shaikh mustafa Copy Share Image
“The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good.” — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Stephen is my boyfriend," Doug said. "We're gay together." "I'm also gay when we're apart," Stephen added.” — Valerie Z. Lewis Copy Share Image
It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“Do you remember—” “Fuck, yes.” Merrick stood. “And if you’re telling this story, I’m getting the bottle.” — KJ Charles Copy Share Image
