I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
“If you can't beat them and don't care to join them, Then " FU*K THEM".” — Katraina L Flowers Copy Share Image
“True...I hear voices in my head keep talking to me. The good thing for now is...I never answer them back.” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
“She's realized the real problem with stories -- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
If America cannot win a war in a week, it begins negotiating with itself. — William Safire Copy Share Image
Newtons third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I just tripped over a pair of shoes and almost fell down and broke my neck and no I wasn't wearing them.” — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
“Why, you boggle-eyed, flap-tongued, drag-bellied offspring of unmentionable algae! You seething little leprous blotch of bat-nibbled fungus! You cringing parasite on the… — Lewis Padgett Copy Share Image
“Adelina knew perfectly well who the father was, but she worked hard to forget it, and by the end of her life… — Olga Núñez Miret Copy Share Image
Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The great thing about costume jewelry is that there's something for everyone - there are very humorous pieces and very extravagant and… — Judith Miller Copy Share Image
The concerts you enjoy together/ Neighbors you annoy together/ Children you destroy together,/ That keep marriage in tact. — Stephen Sondheim Copy Share Image
“My boy, many people know many things. But the things we think we know of others can only become what is known… — Page Wisher Copy Share Image
“So I'm all, "Owned! Bee-yatch! Dog fucking owned you!" Doing a minor booty dance of ownage, perhaps, in retrospect, a bit prematurely.… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Mr Kingsley begins then by exclaiming- 'O the chicanery, the wholesale fraud, the vile hypocrisy, the conscience-killing tyranny of Rome! We have… — John Henry Newman Copy Share Image
“McG: 11:39 PM: Tease. A: Bushy prehistoric looking veggies frighten me. Lilliana: 11:41 PM: WTH are we talking about here? McG: 11:42… — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
One of the glories of doing the book So You Want to Be President? was the shifts in tone, where I was… — David Small Copy Share Image
You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“To exemplify, -a beautiful glossy nut, which, blessed with original strength, has outlived all the storms of autumn. Not a puncture, not… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Where did you get that assault weapon?" "Assault weapon?" Zach turned his head to look at her. "Well, lookey there. You're cute… — Suzie Quint Copy Share Image
“It seems - and who so astonished as they? - that they had held back material facts; that they were guilty of… — Rudyard Kipling Copy Share Image
