Thirteen at a table is unlucky only, when the hostess has only twelve chops. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's the only place to get a decent meal. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
