She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important,… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
