I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. I never forget a face, but in… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
