The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But life looks different through everyone's eyes. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I'm not much of a correspondent. My letters are not only uninteresting but sparse. I'm glad I don?t have to write for… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
