Inspiration Quotes by Groucho Marx

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

— Groucho Marx

You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you

— Groucho Marx

I hope they bury me near a strait man

— Groucho Marx

How would you like to feel the way she looks

— Groucho Marx

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

— Groucho Marx

But what makes wage slaves? Wages!

— Groucho Marx

Budget: a way of going broke methodically

— Groucho Marx

You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way

— Groucho Marx

Thirteen at a table is unlucky only, when the hostess has only twelve chops.

— Groucho Marx

There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.

— Groucho Marx

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

— Groucho Marx

I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

— Groucho Marx

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

— Groucho Marx

Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much

— Groucho Marx

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!

— Groucho Marx

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns

— Groucho Marx

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of…

— Groucho Marx

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face

— Groucho Marx

Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I…

— Groucho Marx

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket

— Groucho Marx

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

— Groucho Marx

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

— Groucho Marx

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me

— Groucho Marx

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready…

— Groucho Marx

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

— Groucho Marx

Hello, I must be going.

— Groucho Marx

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip

— Groucho Marx

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.

— Groucho Marx

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar

— Groucho Marx

You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces

— Groucho Marx

I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge

— Groucho Marx

My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs

— Groucho Marx

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

— Groucho Marx

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove

— Groucho Marx

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

— Groucho Marx

I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy

— Groucho Marx

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you

— Groucho Marx

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

— Groucho Marx

She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.

— Groucho Marx

I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up

— Groucho Marx