I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth" — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. — Groucho Marx Copy Share
