My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I said to my husband, 'my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs.' He said, 'Blue goes… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I think Hillary Clinton's style is perfect. Perfect. You don't notice what she's wearing, you notice the woman. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My personal style is over-the-top dowager. The old days they said get dressed and take one thing off, I say get dressed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
When I am on E! for the 'Fashion Police,' I only care about being a critic. It loses me many friends. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, ... But they say 'What… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion.… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
